I miss him.
I bought a gorgeous pair of black high-heeled shoes today.
But I still miss HIM.
I think it's love, isn't it?
I bought a gorgeous pair of black high-heeled shoes today.
But I still miss HIM.
I think it's love, isn't it?
When I got pregnant, I knew for sure that I would be a single mom. Notwithstanding the fact that a father of my future baby and I were madly in love with each other. I just knew that he is an asshole and nothing would ever change him. Even a baby. Even a baby with me. He loved me but he loved himself more. And trust me that matters. But I had never had a though about getting an abortion. I wanted that child and I was far beyond the line "fucking-happy" that HE was THE father. Good genes, I guess. Every mother wants the best for her child and I knew for sure that these genes would do some good for my baby. Actually they did. Now I have one the sweetest child in the world. My beautiful daughter that I love with all my heart. To the moon and back as american people like to say. I don't regret my choice about having a baby. I'm a happy mother. I think I just knew that I would fine the better person for the role of father for my beloved one. I hope I successes at this. But anyway the point is - When I got pregnant, I knew that I was doing the right thing keeping that child. I was sure that I was blessed with that baby and nothing changed from my decision day.
Therefore I just don't understand women who say they don't want to be a mother. How is it possible? Maybe you don't want to be a mother right now, maybe in ten years... but never? How is it possible to lose such joy of having your own child? Children are blessing. That means - sorry but I don't feel that close with a main heroin Claudia from the book "Baby Proof" by Emily Giffin. I hated her and loved her at the same time. She is smart and sexy, wise and beautiful. She is Woman with a capital letter. She is an editor at the succeeding company. But she is a total BITCH saying such words about children. I understand her reasons. Hey, who wants to become a crazy-about-her-children-mother-who-wants-to-see-nothing-except-her-children? But who says that you would become one?
Heh. I guess I don't like Claudia... but I like the book. *wink one more time* Right now I will try to forget about the heroin and tell you about these gorgeous chick-lit story she "lives" in.
Claudia. Ben. He loved her. She loved him. They both didn't want children. They both wanted to be happy. Just two of them. Time passing... and someone had changed his mind. What would happen next? Would they survive such thing? Would they have a baby or would they prefer to split up? You have to read the book to know all answers.
Just be ready for a very light pleasant reading. Be ready to fall in love with this book. I did.
Emily Giffin wrote a great story with a lot of details and a lot levels. So many characters, so many things was going on.... but everything connected. Children are the center.
4/5 stars.
It's just 8am but i already love this day!
First of all you called and we talked a lot. I can talk with you almost about anything. I love that you have opinion on everything but at the same time you are open to what I say. You are older and probably wiser than me *wink* but you have never made me feel stupid. Thank you, babe.
And the second thing that makes me smile is my daughter tried her first pancake today! The first one! She is smelling like pancake right now! I don't know why but that smell makes me giggle in her neck. I better go and blow raspberries on her tummy. She is so sweet!
Just two of you. My daughter and you. All I need.
Just two of you. My daughter and you. All I need.
I dreamt about being pregnant. With your baby. The funny thing was you were still far away but you and me knew for sure it was our baby growing in my belly. I thought it was a boy (as usual *smile*). I was so excited carrying your baby. I love this english word - "expecting". Such a beauty in it, don't you think? Try to feel it on your tongue. e-x-p-e-c-t-i-n-g. I was expecting in my dream.
Unfortunately I don't remember how my dream ended. Or may be it didn't end at all?
Unfortunately I don't remember how my dream ended. Or may be it didn't end at all?
It's so hard to have a daughter. Hard job to do. Specially when you are alone to handle all these.
Hm... to be honest, it feels great to write just for myself. I'm glad that I have been taking a small "vacation" from my main blog. I don't feel like reading about other people's lives or writing about my own life there. I need this break from everyone who knows me online. I made such a big fuss about my mystery love forgetting the fact that it's all a mystery first of all for myself. I know you. I know a lot about you. I know nothing about you at the same time. You love me - that's I know for sure. What else do I have to know? I should trust you and I do. Completely. I hope for the better.
I'm glad I can talk here without any secrets. Even if just with myself.
I'm glad I can talk here without any secrets. Even if just with myself.
Do you know what I want most of all? I want to be happy. Only with you. Yeah... as simple as that. I have everything I need but you are so far away from me right now. ...part of Russia, the whole Europe, Atlantic Ocean... so many miles away.... But I have faith that you will come very-very soon. You promised. I trust you. I love you.
Poof... Such a beginning of the year! It's only 16th of Jan but I'm already totally exhausted. Failure after failure. But I'm not giving up on this year as I wanted to do before. I will survive and I will make everything work for me. I know I can do it. Therefore lets name 16th of Jan the day of turning everything upside-down.
Go, girl!
Go, girl!
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